Monday, January 28, 2019

Sting's Deadbeat Cousins, or: Divinatory Item Generator

So, the Hobbit is pretty great, right?

Pinterest is the bane of my existence but I did manage to find the original source for this image (by theGorgonist)

Sting: Dagger that Glows when Orcs are near

Item that Action when Category is near



Item d20
  1. Dagger
  2. Sword 
  3. Spear
  4. Axe
  5. Mace
  6. Hammer
  7. Halberd
  8. Bow
  9. Crossbow
  10. Rifle
  11. Pistol
  12. Shield
  13. Breastplate
  14. Helmet
  15. Ring
  16. Necklace
  17. Gauntlets 
  18. Boots 
  19. Skull
  20. Tome
Action d20
  1. Glows
  2. Changes Color
  3. Emits a Beam of Light
  4. Screams
  5. Moans Pleasurably
  6. Vibrates
  7. Freezes
  8. Burns
  9. Strobes
  10. Smells of Farts
  11. Smells of Flowers
  12. Leaks Blood
  13. Recites Scripture
  14. Becomes Heavier
  15. Levitates
  16. Smokes
  17. Moistens
  18. Plays Music
  19. Whispers Psychically
  20. Turns Invisible
Category d20
  1. Orcs
  2. Humans
  3. Elves
  4. Dwarves
  5. Goblins
  6. Dumb Undead
  7. Intelligent Undead
  8. Predatory Animals
  9. Herd Animals
  10. Birds
  11. Books
  12. Alcohol
  13. Demons
  14. Ghosts
  15. Royalty
  16. Criminals
  17. Wealthy People
  18. Liars
  19. Virgins
  20. Sluts (anyone who has had sex recently and enjoyed it, even a little) 

Most of the results for "witch hut" are Minecraft, which, in retrospect, makes sense (by Tiana Maros)

The Shop

The shop is run by an old, old man who has been old for as long as anyone can remember. They call him The Shopkeeper in the Woods. He loves mysteries, especially the mystery of what his magic items do, and he’ll encourage the players to buy the cheapest items. If killed, he Obi-Wans out (with all his items and cash) and returns the next time someone visits the shop, gently admonishing his killers if they return. If they kill him a second time, they will never be able to find the shop again.

At every visit, the shop has 5 items for sale, all rolled randomly. They count as magic for the purposes of hitting ghosts and werewolves or whatever.
  1. Two unlabeled items, each a bit cheaper than a silvered sword
  2. An item with its action labeled, 2x the price of the unlabeled items
  3. An item with its category labeled, 3x the price of the unlabeled items
  4. An item with both its action and category labeled, 4x the price of the unlabeled items

Tables for items like these would probably be cool, too (xkcd)

Betty Bacontime has her own version of this table here.
The button was built using Spwack's Automatic List-to-HTML Translator v2.


1 comment:

  1. "Pair of Boots that Screams when Goblins are near"

    OI THERE ARE FUCKING GOBLINS ABOUT WATCH YOURSELF!

    ReplyDelete