Here’s some more Moonhop.
That's what Into the GLOG is called now; I’m committing to the implied setting. Today, I’m posting Failed Careers (modeled after
James’) to go with the
Race table I made. Era die size determines max starting era: d12 for Orbital (default), d10 for Digital, d8 for Modern, d6 for Industrial, d4 for Medieval, and skip the first die for Ancient. Many of the failed careers are “forwards compatible,” so you can update equipment where necessary to avoid anachronism (like an Aristocrat in an Orbital setting basically still makes sense if you call the weapon a Laser Rapier). That said, I’m going to use older failed careers exactly as written, even in Orbital settings, for reasons enumerated below.
First, an explanation of the weapon notations as I use them. I'm not totally confident in this method of sorting weapons, but it'll give you a basic idea of each weapon for now.
dX: Damage, Applied Automatically
Armor X: Reduces Damage by X
OH/MH/BH: Offhand, Mainhand, Both Hands
You can hold up to 2 OH, or 1 MH/1 OH, or 1 BH
Throw: Can be Thrown for Full Damage
Xpld: if damage rolls listed value, add another die
Shots: How many shots before reload
Ignite: Save or d6 every turn until success
Jump: if damage rolls listed value, roll damage against nearest target
d12 (Era) | d12 | Failed Career | Weapon | Another Thing |
1-2 Ancient
| 1 | Astrologer | Augury Knife (d6, OH) | Spyglass |
2 | Baker | Rolling Pin (d6, OH) | Delicious Bread |
3 | Brewer | Dagger (d6, OH, Throw) | Beer Urn |
4 | Embalmer | Excerebration Hook (d6, OH) | Canopic Jar |
5 | False Prophet | Gnarled Staff (d6, MH) | Devoted Disciple |
6 | Farmer | Scythe (d6, OH) | Ox |
7 | Gladiator | Trident (d8, MH) | Net |
8 | Outlander | Greataxe (d10, BH) | 10 Hallucinatory Berries |
9 | Prisoner | Manacles (d6, OH) | Funny Looking Rock |
10 | Scribe | Chisel (d6, OH) | Salacious Love Clay Tablets |
11 | Shepherd | Crook (d6, MH) | Sheep |
12 | Soldier | Spear (d8, MH, Throw) | Shield (Armor 1, OH) |
3-4 Medieval
| 1 | Aristocrat | Rapier (d8, MH) | Fancy Clothing, Too Much Chin |
2 | Barber-Surgeon | Scissors (d6, OH) | Wig |
3 | Blacksmith | Hammer (d8, MH) | Chain Mail (Armor 1, 2 Slots) |
4 | Cultist | Wavy Dagger (d6, OH) | Pint of Blood |
5 | Falconer | Crossbow (d8, BH) | Falcon (3 HP, d6) |
6 | Flagellant | Scourge (d8, MH) | Horrific Scars |
7 | Forester | Bow (d6, BH) | Bear Trap |
8 | Grave Digger | Shovel (d8, MH) | Sack of Dirt |
9 | Jester | Scythe (d6, OH) | Belled Hat |
10 | Minstrel | Quarterstaff (d6, OH) | Lyre |
11 | Nun | Stick (d4, OH, Throw) | Roller Skates |
12 | Squire | Wooden Sword (d6, MH) | Shield (Armor 1, OH) with Heraldry |
5-6 Industrial
| 1 | Banker | Flintlock (d6 xpld 6, OH, 1 Shot) | Sack of 30 Counterfeit Coins |
2 | Chimneysweep | Barbed Wire Broom (d8, MH) | Endless Soot, Insufferable Accent |
3 | Clockmaker | Screwdriver (d6, OH) | Pocketwatch |
4 | Cowboy | Revolver (d6 xpld 6, OH, 6 Shots) | Dynamite (4d6, Save for Half, 20' Radius) |
5 | Factory Laborer | Hammer (d8, MH) | Tattered Rags |
6 | Fireman | Fireaxe (d8, MH) | Bucket of Matches |
7 | Gambler | Flintlock (d6 xpld 6, OH, 1 Shot) | Deck of Cards |
8 | Mercenary | Rifle (d8 xpld 7-8, BH, 1 Shot) | Chain Mail (Armor 1, 2 Slots) |
9 | Milkmaid | Stool (d6, OH) | Bucket of Milk, Smallpox Immunity |
10 | Oil Baron | Flintlock (d6 xpld 6, OH, 1 Shot) | 3 Wine Bottles of Crude Oil |
11 | Revolutionary | 3 Molotovs (d6, OH, Ignite, 10' Radius, Throw) | Pamphlets Decrying Status Quo |
12 | Street Magician | Brass Knuckles (d6, OH) | Top Hat, White Rabbit |
7-8 Modern
| 1 | Actor | Prop Sword (d6, MH) | 1 Bunch Flowers |
2 | Athlete | Javelin (d8, MH, Throw) | Pole Valuting Pole |
3 | Boy Scout | Pocket Knife (d6, OH) | 50' Rope |
4 | Detective | Snubnosed Pistol (d6 xpld 6, OH, 6 Shots) | Trenchcoat with Deep Pockets |
5 | Mafia Thug | Tommy Gun (d6 xpld 1-2, BH, 3 Shots) | Ragged Suit |
6 | Philosopher | Book (d6, OH) | Pack of Cigarettes |
7 | Photographer | Camera Stand (d6, MH) | Film Camera |
8 | Pilot | Revolver (d6 xpld 6, OH, 6 Shots) | Flak Vest (Armor 1, 2 Slots) |
9 | Professor | Metal Meterstick (d8, BH) | Pipe, 3 Smokes of Tobacco |
10 | Prostitute | Whip (d6, MH) | Restraints |
11 | Spy | Butterfly Knife (d6, OH) | 1 Dose Lethal-If-Ingested Poison |
12 | Stoner | Tree Branch (d8, BH) | 6 Joints |
9-10 Digital
| 1 | Audio Engineer | Boom Mic (d10, BH) | Boombox, 1 min Audio Storage |
2 | Chemical Engineer | Carbon Steel Knife (d8, OH) | Industrial Explosives (6d6, Save for Half, 40') |
3 | Drug Dealer | Uzi (d6 xpld 1-2, OH, 3 Shots) | 1 Packet Crack |
4 | Hacker | Taser (d8, OH) | 50' Programmable Blinking Lights |
5 | Legislator | Cane Gun (d6 xpld 6, MH, 1 Shot) | 1d100 Bribe |
6 | Pizza Delivery | Hubcap (d6, OH, Throw) | 6 Pizzas |
7 | Plumber | Pipe Wrench (d6, OH) | Large Bottle of Glue |
8 | Roboticist | Shoulter-Mounted Robot Arm (d8, OH) | Camera Drone, 1 Hour Battery |
9 | Student | Bookbag (d6, MH) | 1d10,000 Crippling Debt |
10 | Tech Support | Pipe Wrench (d6, OH) | Paired Radios, Unmitigated Rage |
11 | Weatherman | Brass Knuckles (d6, OH) | 3-Day Weather Predictor |
12 | Zookeeper | Spiked Electric Cow Prod (d10, BH) | Necklace of Teeth |
11-12 Orbital
| 1 | Anti-Riot Police | Shotgun (2d4 xpld 4, BH, 6 Shots) | Riot Shield (Armor 1, OH), 3 Smoke Grenades |
2 | Bionic Surgeon | Cauterization Dagger (d8, OH) | Bionic Eye and Viewing Pad |
3 | Bureaucrat | Silenced Pistol (d6 xpld 6, OH, 6 Shots) | Blackmail on Local Leader |
4 | Geneticist | Invalid Trophy (d6, OH) | Mutant Baby |
5 | Hooligan | Bat with Nails (d8, MH) | Hoverboard |
6 | Laser Engineer | 3 Laser Pointers (2d6, OH, 1 Shot Ever) | 3 Flexible Mirrors |
7 | Scrapper | Crowbar (d6, OH) | Strong Electromagnet |
8 | Space Pilot | Laser Pistol (5d6, OH, 1 Shot Ever) | Bottle of Whiskey |
9 | Spaceship Engineer | Coil Pistol (d6 jump 6, OH, 6 Shots) | Blowtorch |
10 | Supersoldier | Assault Rifle (d8 xpld 1-3, BH, 6 Shots) | Battle Armor (Armor 2, 4 Slots) |
11 | Survivor | Rusty Knife (d6, OH, Throw) | Irradiated Jeans, Irradiated Genes (Sterile) |
12 | Warlord | Spiked Scepter (d8, MH) | Outfit with Too Many Spikes (Armor 1, 2 Slots) |
And now a quick aside about the world of the video game
Rimworld:
In Rimworld, humans fly around their arm of the Milky Way at sublight speeds in cryosleep, colonizing planets. Every time a planet gets to a certain tech level, it either becomes a singularity and cuts off contact with everyone OR it nukes itself into ruins. That’s not the end, though: eventually, survivors rebuild from the stone age up. This has been going on for a long time. In the actual game part of Rimworld, you manage a colony of people whose cryosleep ship has crashed into a world on the rim of the arm of the Milky Way. Your characters get a random childhood and a random adulthood, and they don’t even have to be from the same tech level: you might get a medieval serf kid who grew into a spacefaring mercenary, or a gene-modded super soldier child who grew up to be a librarian.
So basically, I’m trying to do something similar here. Every moon is at a different tech level, so player characters can be from any tech level, presumably abducted into space. Humans get two failed careers, so most of them will actually be transplants from one tech level to another, which is neat. A game might start with a Barber-Surgeon, a Cowboy, and a Hacker sharing a last drink before a lethal dungeon-delve. That’s good shit.
Also I realized that I had left off a major inspiration for Moonhop:
Enter the Gungeon, which is just fantastic all around. It’s super gonzo, it oozes charm and fun, and it still manages to pull off interesting, melancholy NPCs. It also has a great implied world, one very similar to what I’m trying to build here, with lots of anachronism and desperate adventurers blundering around the universe. I’ll probably do a more in-depth post on it at some point in the future, separate from Moonhop.
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Starbound isn't currently on the list of inspirations, but I love it a lot and at some point I'll realize some fundamental piece of Moonhop is lifted from it (Lili Ibrahim) |
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This image was like two months of controversy in the Starbound community, you have no idea (Starbound) |