Saturday, November 17, 2018

Moonhop Failed Careers: A Knight and a Cowboy Walk Into the GLOG

Here’s some more Moonhop.


That's what Into the GLOG is called now; I’m committing to the implied setting. Today, I’m posting Failed Careers (modeled after James’) to go with the Race table I made. Era die size determines max starting era: d12 for Orbital (default), d10 for Digital, d8 for Modern, d6 for Industrial, d4 for Medieval, and skip the first die for Ancient. Many of the failed careers are “forwards compatible,” so you can update equipment where necessary to avoid anachronism (like an Aristocrat in an Orbital setting basically still makes sense if you call the weapon a Laser Rapier). That said, I’m going to use older failed careers exactly as written, even in Orbital settings, for reasons enumerated below.

First, an explanation of the weapon notations as I use them. I'm not totally confident in this method of sorting weapons, but it'll give you a basic idea of each weapon for now.

dX: Damage, Applied Automatically
Armor X: Reduces Damage by X
OH/MH/BH: Offhand, Mainhand, Both Hands
You can hold up to 2 OH, or 1 MH/1 OH, or 1 BH
Throw: Can be Thrown for Full Damage
Xpld: if damage rolls listed value, add another die
Shots: How many shots before reload
Ignite: Save or d6 every turn until success
Jump: if damage rolls listed value, roll damage against nearest target


d12 (Era)d12Failed CareerWeaponAnother Thing
1-2 Ancient
1AstrologerAugury Knife (d6, OH)Spyglass
2BakerRolling Pin (d6, OH)Delicious Bread
3BrewerDagger (d6, OH, Throw)Beer Urn
4EmbalmerExcerebration Hook (d6, OH)Canopic Jar
5False ProphetGnarled Staff (d6, MH)Devoted Disciple
6FarmerScythe (d6, OH)Ox
7GladiatorTrident (d8, MH)Net
8OutlanderGreataxe (d10, BH)10 Hallucinatory Berries
9PrisonerManacles (d6, OH)Funny Looking Rock
10ScribeChisel (d6, OH)Salacious Love Clay Tablets
11ShepherdCrook (d6, MH)Sheep
12SoldierSpear (d8, MH, Throw)Shield (Armor 1, OH)
3-4 Medieval
1AristocratRapier (d8, MH)Fancy Clothing, Too Much Chin
2Barber-SurgeonScissors (d6, OH)Wig
3BlacksmithHammer (d8, MH)Chain Mail (Armor 1, 2 Slots)
4CultistWavy Dagger (d6, OH)Pint of Blood
5FalconerCrossbow (d8, BH)Falcon (3 HP, d6)
6FlagellantScourge (d8, MH)Horrific Scars
7ForesterBow (d6, BH)Bear Trap
8Grave DiggerShovel (d8, MH)Sack of Dirt
9JesterScythe (d6, OH)Belled Hat
10MinstrelQuarterstaff (d6, OH)Lyre
11NunStick (d4, OH, Throw)Roller Skates
12SquireWooden Sword (d6, MH)Shield (Armor 1, OH) with Heraldry
5-6 Industrial
1BankerFlintlock (d6 xpld 6, OH, 1 Shot)Sack of 30 Counterfeit Coins
2ChimneysweepBarbed Wire Broom (d8, MH)Endless Soot, Insufferable Accent
3ClockmakerScrewdriver (d6, OH)Pocketwatch
4CowboyRevolver (d6 xpld 6, OH, 6 Shots)Dynamite (4d6, Save for Half, 20' Radius)
5Factory LaborerHammer (d8, MH)Tattered Rags
6FiremanFireaxe (d8, MH)Bucket of Matches
7GamblerFlintlock (d6 xpld 6, OH, 1 Shot)Deck of Cards
8MercenaryRifle (d8 xpld 7-8, BH, 1 Shot)Chain Mail (Armor 1, 2 Slots)
9MilkmaidStool (d6, OH)Bucket of Milk, Smallpox Immunity
10Oil BaronFlintlock (d6 xpld 6, OH, 1 Shot)3 Wine Bottles of Crude Oil
11Revolutionary3 Molotovs (d6, OH, Ignite, 10' Radius, Throw)Pamphlets Decrying Status Quo
12Street MagicianBrass Knuckles (d6, OH)Top Hat, White Rabbit
7-8 Modern
1ActorProp Sword (d6, MH)1 Bunch Flowers
2AthleteJavelin (d8, MH, Throw)Pole Valuting Pole
3Boy ScoutPocket Knife (d6, OH)50' Rope
4DetectiveSnubnosed Pistol (d6 xpld 6, OH, 6 Shots)Trenchcoat with Deep Pockets
5Mafia ThugTommy Gun (d6 xpld 1-2, BH, 3 Shots)Ragged Suit
6PhilosopherBook (d6, OH)Pack of Cigarettes
7PhotographerCamera Stand (d6, MH)Film Camera
8PilotRevolver (d6 xpld 6, OH, 6 Shots)Flak Vest (Armor 1, 2 Slots)
9ProfessorMetal Meterstick (d8, BH)Pipe, 3 Smokes of Tobacco
10ProstituteWhip (d6, MH)Restraints
11SpyButterfly Knife (d6, OH)1 Dose Lethal-If-Ingested Poison
12StonerTree Branch (d8, BH)6 Joints
9-10 Digital
1Audio EngineerBoom Mic (d10, BH)Boombox, 1 min Audio Storage
2Chemical EngineerCarbon Steel Knife (d8, OH)Industrial Explosives (6d6, Save for Half, 40')
3Drug DealerUzi (d6 xpld 1-2, OH, 3 Shots)1 Packet Crack
4HackerTaser (d8, OH)50' Programmable Blinking Lights
5LegislatorCane Gun (d6 xpld 6, MH, 1 Shot)1d100 Bribe
6Pizza DeliveryHubcap (d6, OH, Throw)6 Pizzas
7PlumberPipe Wrench (d6, OH)Large Bottle of Glue
8RoboticistShoulter-Mounted Robot Arm (d8, OH)Camera Drone, 1 Hour Battery
9StudentBookbag (d6, MH)1d10,000 Crippling Debt
10Tech SupportPipe Wrench (d6, OH)Paired Radios, Unmitigated Rage
11WeathermanBrass Knuckles (d6, OH)3-Day Weather Predictor
12ZookeeperSpiked Electric Cow Prod (d10, BH)Necklace of Teeth
11-12 Orbital
1Anti-Riot PoliceShotgun (2d4 xpld 4, BH, 6 Shots)Riot Shield (Armor 1, OH), 3 Smoke Grenades
2Bionic SurgeonCauterization Dagger (d8, OH)Bionic Eye and Viewing Pad
3BureaucratSilenced Pistol (d6 xpld 6, OH, 6 Shots)Blackmail on Local Leader
4GeneticistInvalid Trophy (d6, OH)Mutant Baby
5HooliganBat with Nails (d8, MH)Hoverboard
6Laser Engineer3 Laser Pointers (2d6, OH, 1 Shot Ever)3 Flexible Mirrors
7ScrapperCrowbar (d6, OH)Strong Electromagnet
8Space PilotLaser Pistol (5d6, OH, 1 Shot Ever)Bottle of Whiskey
9Spaceship EngineerCoil Pistol (d6 jump 6, OH, 6 Shots)Blowtorch
10SupersoldierAssault Rifle (d8 xpld 1-3, BH, 6 Shots)Battle Armor (Armor 2, 4 Slots)
11SurvivorRusty Knife (d6, OH, Throw)Irradiated Jeans, Irradiated Genes (Sterile)
12WarlordSpiked Scepter (d8, MH)Outfit with Too Many Spikes (Armor 1, 2 Slots)

And now a quick aside about the world of the video game Rimworld:

In Rimworld, humans fly around their arm of the Milky Way at sublight speeds in cryosleep, colonizing planets. Every time a planet gets to a certain tech level, it either becomes a singularity and cuts off contact with everyone OR it nukes itself into ruins. That’s not the end, though: eventually, survivors rebuild from the stone age up. This has been going on for a long time. In the actual game part of Rimworld, you manage a colony of people whose cryosleep ship has crashed into a world on the rim of the arm of the Milky Way. Your characters get a random childhood and a random adulthood, and they don’t even have to be from the same tech level: you might get a medieval serf kid who grew into a spacefaring mercenary, or a gene-modded super soldier child who grew up to be a librarian.

So basically, I’m trying to do something similar here. Every moon is at a different tech level, so player characters can be from any tech level, presumably abducted into space. Humans get two failed careers, so most of them will actually be transplants from one tech level to another, which is neat. A game might start with a Barber-Surgeon, a Cowboy, and a Hacker sharing a last drink before a lethal dungeon-delve. That’s good shit.

Also I realized that I had left off a major inspiration for Moonhop: Enter the Gungeon, which is just fantastic all around. It’s super gonzo, it oozes charm and fun, and it still manages to pull off interesting, melancholy NPCs. It also has a great implied world, one very similar to what I’m trying to build here, with lots of anachronism and desperate adventurers blundering around the universe. I’ll probably do a more in-depth post on it at some point in the future, separate from Moonhop.

Starbound isn't currently on the list of inspirations, but I love it a lot and at some point
I'll realize some fundamental piece of Moonhop is lifted from it (Lili Ibrahim)

This image was like two months of controversy in the Starbound community, you have no idea (Starbound)

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